How to Be Free of the Pacifier!

When the majority of us started out on this roller coaster ride of parenthood, we LOVED the pacifier for its amazing ability to calm our little ones, lull them to sleep, and provide comfort when mommy isn't enough (scratched knee anyone).  However, as our littles grow up we begin to despise the pacifier.  Most of us find it becomes an extra appendage for our little love bugs.  Often times in their mouth obstructing their speech (and therefore making it impossible to understand) which increases everyones frustrations.  And then, there is the inevitable lost pacifier right before bedtime, which results in a mad scramble to find said pacifier so you can finally watch ONE show from your DVR.  Now trying to get rid of this silicone menace can often times lead to tantrums, crying, and sleepless night that remind us of our early days of parenthood.  However, I have developed a very simple way to ween your little one off of their pacifier with minimal tears! As with anything in parenting, consistency is key to everyones success, but I used this method with my daughter and it was not difficult at all...and she is STUBBORN.

The first thing you have to assess is your child's ability to self soothe.  If the pacifier is still the primary way your child can be soothed after a bump or fall, you may need to wait a few months before starting.  Also, I would suggest waiting if at night the pacifier falling-out of your little ones mouth results in him waking up to search for it.  You need to make sure your child is emotionally capable of soothing himself before starting this process, because you don't want to make this any more stressful than it needs to be.

Process

1) The first thing you need to do is talk to your little one, very casually, about how he is a big kid and big kids don't use pacifiers all the time.  Explain to him that pacifiers are just for bed and not for around the house. (If the pacifier is not an issue outside the bed then you can substitute this with it's for nap time only)

2) After a few days of casually talking about the change that is coming, if your little one appears to be comfortable and relatively open to the change (some resistance is expected, but here is where you need to read your child and see if he needs more time), you can begin to fade the pacifier.  You will first need to whittle down your pacifier stash to one or two pacifiers only. You can always let your little one choose which one or two he wants to keep to make it less scary.

3) Once you have decreased the pacifiers to a select one or two you will begin to fade the pacifier out.  You will first start with the times your little one will be sleeping for the shortest amount of time-naps.  This should be less stressful for him because he doesn't need to deal with it being dark, or with having to stay in his crib for a very long period of time.  Tell him that because he is a big boy (or girl) the pacifier is only for bedtime at night and not for nap time.  Do your regular nap routine, it is VERY important to keep everything in your nap time routine the SAME as it was before.  This will help to reduce any stress and it will also help signal to your little one that the expected behavior (sleep) is the same even without the pacifier.  For more information on this read sleep training your child and functions of behavior. You will want to put the pacifiers somewhere your little one can't reach-I put ours on the top shelf in the closet-during all times except for bedtime.

4) If your little one has a hard time in the beginning that is OK, in fact, it's to be expected. Continue with the routine and pacifier schedule for about a week. If you are not seeing an improvement (a decrease int he length or intensity of crying or whining) then can change the way you are fading.  If your little one takes more than one nap, then remove the pacifier for the shortest nap only.  If he only takes one nap, then you can give it to him for a few minutes until he falls asleep and then take it and put it away, so he won't have the opportunity to use it when he wakes up.  After a few days of success then move back to the schedule in #3.

5) Once your little one has mastered naps without pacifiers and is not asking for them (this may take a few weeks)  you can begin to transition away from the bedtime pacifier.  There are two ways you can do this:

• Cut the pacifier:  This is exactly what it sounds like. You will cut a small portion of the tip of the pacifier completely off (when your little one isn't looking) and put give it to him at bedtime.  If he asks what's wrong with it, you can answer with something like "I don't know, maybe it's broken" and then walk out.  DO NOT MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF THE CUT PACIFIER.  The reason you cut pacifier is if the tip is cut your little one can't get any suction and the child can't get the same sensation out of the pacifier.  With my daughter it only took about two nights for her to bring it to my attention that her pacifier "wasn't working" I then proceeded to look at the pacifier and say "oh yeah, it looks like it's broken I guess we need to throw it away. That's okay you don't need it because you're a big girl not a baby." Stick to this line if your little one asks about the pacifier, this is likely to happen for the first couple of nights.

• The pacifier fairy:  If you don't think your little one will be able to "get over" the pacifier without a little incentive then this is the way to go.  You explain to your little one that he (or she) is now a big kid and doesn't need a pacifier even for bedtime.  You then tell him that there is a pacifier fairy that takes all of the old pacifiers from the big kids and gives them to the new babies that need it. You and your little one will then put all the pacifiers on a string and tie that string to his doorknob before bed.  While your child is sleeping take the pacifiers off of the doorknob and leave a small toy outside of his bedroom.  This way when he wakes up and sees that his pacifiers are gone, he will have a toy to help ease the transition.

Either of these final methods will work, however I suggest you go through steps 1-4 first to make the transition as easy as possible.  Yes, you can cut the pacifier cold turkey and have it be effective, however that usually results in a longer time of crying and difficulty sleeping which often times results in the parent giving in.  When you start this process YOU CANNOT GIVE IN. If you do then you have just strengthened you child's behavior of crying for the pacifier which will only make the next time you try more difficult.  Also, note that the time frame for this fading is very CHILD SPECIFIC.  How long this process will take depends on your consistency, your child's readiness, and understanding of what's going on.  Some kids go through this within a week others can take a month or more, it all depends.  My daughter took about a month from start to finish, but that was mainly due to my hesitation to move to step five for fear of having to move back.  I hope this helps all of you out there who are struggling with this.  If you have any questions feel free to ask in the comments!

*NOTE:  If your child suffers from a medical condition or a psychological (emotional) condition please speak with your pediatrician before starting this routine to make sure that it is safe and something your little one can physically handle.